Dear Diary,

I think I'm a really confusing/confused person, when it comes to love and relationships. I'm so clueless, so much so, I don't even know what I want. One moment, I think I kinda like this guy and the next, I've already found a new target. All along, I have held a certain kind of special feeling for Matty. He has been in my life since we were 17 or so. I think of him ever so often and can even imagine a future with him (he's the only one I feel that way about).

But of late, I have been meeting new people almost everyday and they are closer to me than Matty (he's in Sydney - yes, he's an Aussie). Even my exs are coming back to me. I feel like I have a choice but yet I'm not sure I wanna take that course. I flirt back when being flirted with *winks* normal, rite? But at the end of the day, I still prefer Matty. Only problem is, he's not around and he's so damn far and he doesn't seem to wanna commit. I guess I prefer guys who are hard to get, compared to guys I can get easily, no challenge in that.

I actually have more to let out on this topic but for some reason, my mind's not up-to-date and can't seem to think of what I have been keeping these past few weeks. Maybe next time, the moment, I think of something, I have to get it out.